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If you were lucky enough to not have witnessed Friday night’s debacle in the Windy City, let’s just say it was a five-point loss and leave it at that. The Chicago Bulls took the final three games of the four-game season set and the Cavaliers have now lost seven of nine on the road since March 1.

Friday’s game wasn’t exactly, what Joe Tait would call, a “crap spectacular.” But it wasn’t pretty, either. Certainly not as semi-pretty as the boxscore might indicate. And what’s worse, the loss is part of a disturbing pattern. You’d have to be a deaf, dumb and blind kid not to fathom the fact that our beloved Cavaliers are limping to the finish line.

It pains me to say so.

Look – I may be an optimist, but I’m not as stupid as I smell. And I can sense that there’s a problem with the Wine and Gold. Maybe they're off-kilter due to the civil unrest in Tibet. Maybe it’s the fact that only two celebrities died last week (Charlton Heston and Gib Shanley), throwing the universe akimbo while it waits impatiently for a third.

Whatever it is, the Wine and Gold still have three games to get themselves straight. Because if the Cavaliers look like this in a week, we’ll be getting our Erie Dearies and dynamite together for a fishing trip in May – instead of planning our eagerly-anticipated return to the NBA Finals in June.

Luckily, the Sports Gods have provided the Cavaliers with (what we hope is) a get-well game on Sunday evening at The Q, featuring the currently hapless Miami Heat.

The Heat, two years removed from an NBA Championship, come to Cleveland with the worst record in the league – 51 games below the Mendoza Line at 14-65. Pat Riley’s squad has gone 3-18 since March 1 and, like their pigskin brethren, are lining up nicely for the top pick in the Draft. Shaquille O’Neal is now the Big Cactus and half of the remaining Miamians – including the incomparable Dwyane Wade – have been mercifully shut down for the season.

How should we feel about ABC bumping the Cavs for "Battle of the Newtork Stars"?

Of course, this is the reason that the muckety-mucks at ABC pulled their coverage of today’s game. Roon Arledge took one look at the Heat’s record and the skeleton crew they’ve been trotting out every night and got the halogen out of Cleveland. That’s cool by me – I’d rather listen to the silky tones of Fred McLeod and the sanguine commentary of Austin Carr, anyhow.

Luckily, our dynamic broadcasting duo – plus Joe Tait – will be able to clean out the pipes with a much-needed victory on Sunday.

Miami’s twin towers of Kasib Powell and Stephane Lasme begin the game hitting seven of their first ten shots from the field. Miami takes a two-point lead after one quarter and the natives down at the corner of Huron and Ontario are restless. Joe Smith eases the pain in the second period, however, canning four straight jumpers as Cleveland surges ahead at intermission – 54-46.

Former Cavalier, Slick Rick the Rulah, scores 14 of Miami’s 19 points in the third period, but the Cavaliers keep the pressure on behind TheBron’s 12-point effort. Cleveland leads by 12 after three.

The Large Lithuanian takes care of business down the stretch, scoring on a pair of dunks halfway through the fourth and allowing Coach Mike Brown to pull his starters in the final five minutes. Miami’s Blake Ahearn gives the Cavaliers a brief scare, but Cleveland pulls away in the closing seconds, giving them the 110-99 win on Sunday at The Q.

Phew! That felt good.

Following the victory, the Cavaliers chow down a sandwich (and maybe a chicken wing or two), jaw-jack briefly with the bottom-feeding media and mount the Team Bus for the City of Brotherly Love.

There are only two games left following tonight’s well-earned win. Have you got your gird on? Or are you saving your delicate little loins for the postseason?

I desperately hope it’s the former and not the latter. If you’ve been slacking all year and saving it for the playoffs, you might actually be the one responsible for our late-season struggles. (I won’t single you out. You know who you are.)

The rest of you little blockheads should be proud that you’ve been here through thick and thin. Enjoy the fruits of tonight’s triumph and please continue to …

Keep the faith, Cleveland

Your pal,
The Optimist

COME ON, CAVS! ©1975

please play loudly